Does Your Relationship Pass The Healthy Test?A healthy relationship is something we all want and sometimes don’t necessarily have. Firstly, it is important to define what a healthy relationship is and isn’t.

What a healthy relationship is:

The key elements of a healthy relationship are: trust, honesty, respect, separate interests, equality, and the good times far outweigh the bad.

You feel protected, supported and listened to.

What a healthy relationship isn’t:

The key elements of an unhealthy relationship are: putdowns, yelling, possessiveness, criticism, isolating or monitoring activities, abuse, and the bad times far outweigh the good.

You feel scared, intimidated and neglected.

What Makes a Healthy Relationship?

When we make the choice to be in a relationship we take on the responsibility of bringing joy, safety, communication and support to the relationship – 100%, not 50/50 – that means each individual is responsible for contributing 100% to building the relationship. That is what two people do – build a relationship – and when you choose to be in a relationship with another person you take on the responsibility of building a relationship with that person. The relationship you jointly build should shelter you, protect and support you, and bring joy to your lives.

All relationships experience difficulties and conflict, a good, healthy relationship will weather these times and grow in strength.

Relationship Checklist

Are you ready to take the test to see where your relationship sits on the health-barometer? It is best to take this test individually and then compare your answers with your partner. One or the other may feel they are on a ‘different page’ and tick different answers. This is a good opportunity to check-in with each and communicate regarding any differences.

Look at the questions below and without putting too much thought into it, answer ‘yes’ if it applies to your situation.

  1. I feel listened to by my partner and validated when I raise issues or in everyday discussion – Y/N
  2. My partner makes time for me and us – Y/N
  3. My partner is supportive of my personal activities and hobbies – Y/N
  4. My partner praises me and I feel admired by them – Y/N
  5. When we have conflict, my partner is willing to resolve the issue in a positive way – Y/N
  6. We can discuss things or engage in conversation without blame, criticism or put-downs – Y/N
  7. We are open and honest and have access to the same information such as social networking, emails, mobile phone etc. – Y/N
  8. I feel excited about seeing my partner at the end of the day and I know they feel the same way – Y/N
  9. We share mutual activities and do fun things together– Y/N
  10. We allow each other the space to grow as an individual – Y/N
  11. My partner is the first person I turn to when needing comfort – Y/N
  12. I feel safe and protected by my partner – Y/N
  13. My partner and I both take responsibility for our action and behaviors – Y/N
  14. My partner looks after their health and wellbeing – Y/N
  15. I trust my partner and they trust me – Y/N
  16. I feel like we are part of a team – Y/N
  17. My partner is physically affectionate with me– Y/N
  18. My partner knows what makes me happy, sad, what my dreams are etc. – Y/N
  19. My partner is my best friend – Y/N
  20. We share and plan goals, dreams and visions of our future together – Y/N

A ‘Yes’ to 15 or more, you are on a winner with a rock-solid relationship

A ‘Yes’ to 10 or more, your relationship is doing well, honest communication will help you the establish a stronger connection towards building a stronger relationship

A ‘Yes’ to 10 or less, your relationship could do with some work, either through open communication as a couple or with the help of a counsellor or other professional

A ‘Yes’ to 5 or less, you’re most likely in an unhealthy relationship, I would suggest seeking the help of professional support, helpline or counselling

The perfect relationship doesn’t just land in our lap, and many times we are not taught how to have the perfect relationship. Childhood abuse, family dysfunction, PTSD and substance abuse can contribute to the inability to be able to participate in a healthy relationship.

Seeking the services of a professional counsellor, information hotline, hypnotherapist or health clinic can provide support and help. Naturally, if you feel in danger, seek immediate help.

Need help with relationship issues which are affected by trauma, PTSD or substance abuse?  

CALL Roland now to know more about the revolutionary Richard’s Process, and how it can help you change your life and your relationship.


Information in this article is for educational purpose only, and should not be used in place of medical advice. Please consult your doctor if you are concerned about your health, mental and emotional well-being.