Or Does This Thought Leave You With Feelings Of Anxiety?

The majority of my clients who email or ring me use the word ‘quit’. The adverts on the TV always use the words ‘quit smoking’ for the same reason that I have just quoted. For me to help people, either male or female, the process is the same: first of all they must want to quit. I emphasise the word ‘they’. They are not doing it to please someone else.ID-100264181

A typical example is when a wife wants her husband to quit smoking. Probably the conversation goes like this:

“I’m going to get you off those stinking, filthy cigarettes. I’m going to ring that hypnotherapist Roland James. I’ve heard that he’s good. He got ‘so and so’ to quit. He will fix you.”

She rings me and makes an appointment. It’s a waste of time. The husband really doesn’t want to give up, or he is not ready to. If she is ringing up on his behalf and he wants to quit smoking , that’s OK. I personally like to speak to the husband directly, or whoever wants to quit smoking.

A few years ago I had the idea of printing out specialised ‘quit smoking’ business cards. They were professionally scripted and professionally printed. I decided to go to the entrance of shopping centres or office blocks. There would always be a smoker, hopefully several. I’d hand out my card. What a marvellous idea!

Working on an average numbers game, I could hand out perhaps fifty per week, and hopefully would find two – or if lucky, three – smokers wanting to quit. Simple, easy, no problem! My cash flow solved, a steady income.

There they were, ruining their health, spending money – in many cases money they could not afford. I did this for several weeks at various shopping centres and office blocks.

How many took up the offer? Nil, none, not a single one. The lesson? Although they may have wanted to give up, they were not ready. Whatever the problem – smoking, gambling, binge drinking – they have to be ready and want to quit.

When people contact me either by telephone or email they are ready and want to be helped. This statement may sound uncharitable: “You can only help someone who wants to be helped”. If they are not ready and do not want your help, you are wasting your time and you will get no thanks.